The last several months, (probably the last year is really more accurate) my blog has been a mess of fits and starts, with the fits generally outweighing the starts (or maybe it’s the other way around.) I’m going to level with you all here; the truth is that I’ve been fucking bored.
The story of my descent into boredom is a long and sordid tale, filled with self-imposed limitations and prohibitions that have kept me from really writing in my own true voice. You see, I haven’t been entirely honest with you. From the very beginning of this blog I have, to some degree, been writing for someone else. Sometimes this has meant that I wrote something because I thought that it would get a lot of page views. Sometimes it meant that I would curb the way that I wanted to write something because I thought that it wouldn’t go over well with people. I don’t swear a lot in my daily life, but I have often resisted the urge to use certain language to avoid being too off-color. The end result of all of this is that I often would rip the guts out of what I was writing to try to broaden the appeal of a post, which always ended up leaving me with a feeling of dissatisfaction with the finished product.
After having spent the last couple of years writing on this blog, I have finally reached the point where I really don’t care about writing to keep everyone happy and to make sure that the wine samples keep flowing. I’m finally ready to just write for myself. That’s not to say that I don’t care whether people enjoy my blog. I’ll always enjoy writing something that people get into, but I’m just tired of performing the written equivalent of trying to get Aesop’s ass across a bridge.
So what does this all mean? I will probably get back into doing some of the kinds of posts that I used to do, although I will probably approach them from a somewhat different angle. I’m going to make myself more vulnerable through some of the posts that I have planned, so anyone who decides to join me for the ride is going to get to know the real me better, for better or for worse. You probably won’t see me writing about social media and the wine industry too much, or the effect of Robert Parker on the wine world, or Steve Heimoff’s most recent tirade on bloggers, because I frankly don’t give a shit about those things. There might be a case where I find some human element to something in that arena that I do care about, but I generally feel myself holding back my lunch from returning on me when I read, let alone write, about such well-worn and tiresome topics. I don’t want any of this to sound like I’m judging people who do write about these kinds of things. There are obviously a lot of people who are interested in them, they just don’t appeal to me.
Given my lack of consistency with Vinotology over the last year, I know that this message will not really make it to very many eyeballs, but I’m okay with that. I felt like I needed to explain myself to anyone who will read this, but ultimately I am just excited to get down to writing in a way that I find creatively fulfilling. I am looking forward to starting to build something honest on this site, and I know that it won’t be for everyone. At least it will be something that I can be proud of.