Just wanted to share a post with you guys that I found interesting. Jason Kotecki has a post out called Why You Might NOT Want to Be Like Gary Vee on the Dumb Little Man site. Many of us winos have followed Gary Vaynerchuk's Wine Library TV blog, and possibly his other ventures, and are in awe of what Gary Vee has accomplished, but this post asks about the costs of working 18 hours a day, and whether it is worth it.
Gary is clearly very driven, and has become a huge star and success story. I've read Crush It, and found a lot of what he had to say very compelling. I really like the fact that he says that the first step in "crushing it" is hard work, because a lot of people out there try to paint a picture of becoming successful that doesn't include hard work, and it just isn't realistic. Still, I had to wonder how Gary is able to spend any significant amount of time with his family while working 18 hours a day. My poor wife doesn't get all of the attention she deserves, and I don't even approach the 18 hours that Gary suggests in his book.
I think that all of us have to examine what our priorities are. Gary even touches on this some in his book, but I think that you definitely have to examine what you want out of life before committing yourself to the kind of routine that you find in Crush It.
What do you guys think? Is it worth the sacrifices that you make in your health and family life to go all out on the Gary Vee Crush It course? Where do you think the lines are? How much is too much?
I now return you to your regularly scheduled wine content.
I always feel guilty when I go to work all day, then come home to my pregnant wife, give her a quick kiss, then run up to the office to write blog posts and interact and network with others for the next 4-5 hours. So, yeah, it’s tough.
I think if you’re doing the work that you love, the joy and energy will rub off on your family. Not at that point yet, so we’ll see…
I spent 12 years working 12+ hours a day, 100+ days a year doing something I didn’t love. Now I spend 15hrs a day, 6-7 days a week doing something I love… I work more now, but I am so much happier…
The line is where you are being destructive vs constructive in any part of your life.
Joe, I am with you. That’s how I feel sometimes. I always make sure to try to make it a priority to make family time, but still sometimes feel like it’s not enough.
Hardy, I agree with you completely. I definitely can spend those extra hours doing something that I’m passionate about. The thing I struggle with is knowing when to stop working and devote my undivided attention to my family. Just have to make sure to stop short of that destructive point that you talk about.
I recently had a stressed-out-break-down due to trying to do way too much all at once so I feel like personally this whole topic is very timely.
It’s a very hard balance for me. I work all day, go home to blog and network, cook dinner, do laundry and find time to go to tastings. It gets overwhelming when I have plans that I can’t really cancel but I just want to spend time with my boyfriend (who I live with and sometimes feel like I never see).
Maybe you have to go the Crush It route if you want everything to come quickly and in a big way but what happened to slow and steady wins the race? I think that’s going to have to be my new motto with all of this. It’s just too overwhelming otherwise. Long days only work for so long before you’re just spent.
Life, work, family, wine, ____(fill in the blank) are all about balance. What is a life of hard work with out the reward of sharing it with someone (or someones) you care about. It is like a wine that has too much oak and not enough fruit, or too much alcohol and not enough acid.
A successful life means working hard at all aspects; relationships, work, etc. if you are spending too much time on one the other will suffer.
Anyway thats my two cents!
Amanda, I have had times like that too. Sometimes I push so hard that I just feel like I’m going to crash. I think it’s important to establish boundaries on our time.
You are absolutely right, balance is the important thing in every facet of our life. If we are out of balance in one area, our ability to enjoy the other areas will suffer.
Chris, I love the wine illustration. Perfect, and I wish I had said it first.
It is a matter of priorities, definitely. Some people are at a stage in their lives where they thrive on the challenge, and their personal relationships are almost entirely within their work lives. I’m certainly happy with putting in 60+ hours of my week towards my job right now, but I also like being able to have a relationship, to go out on occasional weeknights… I’m just not built to work sleep work sleep work sleep.
Gary Vee thrives in his life. As far as I can tell, he lives for the grind. One one of us in the world is Gary Vee. The rest of us should do our own thing and not compare ourselves to him favorably or unfavorably.
*Only one of us I mean
you need to work hard – otherwise nothing is possible.
garyvee is right.
If you can manage hard work, family, kids, you did it.
Joshua, you are right. There is only one Gary Vee. Even he says that you have to be true to your DNA. I could never do things exactly like he does.
Herrenhof, no question about it. Hard work is the foundation of success in any venture. I just think that you need to make sure that you aren’t sacrificing things that are ultimately more important.
Gary made a good point on Twitter (he graciously replied to my post there), and said that his point is that the things that people should be sacrificing are Lost and Wii. He mentions that numerous times in Crush It, and I think that’s definitely true. The junk is different for everyone, but we all have extraneous things that we could dump to make room for what is really important.
I often have wondered about how Gary and Lizzie do it. . WineLibrary, Misha, VaynerMedia, Jets etc., etc. It looks like it is working and I hope it is. Business, I am sure, has never been better for Gary. I hope his home-life is just as successful. It does appear that Gary and Lizzie have a great relationship.
It is a hard life and I am not sure that I would necessarily want it. I just know that on my tombstone, I don’t want it to say that I wished I had spent more time with my family.
Besides. . . I could not imagine Gary only working 8-9 hour days and then being home all the time. . . all that energy probably drives Lizzie nuts!
Yeah, he seems to be making it work. I am pretty sure that I wouldn’t want the life that he has either, but I think that it is awesome that he can make it work.
LOL, you are probably right about Gary’s energy probably being more than Lizzie could take in large doses.
I’m with Hardy, Suburban Wino and others that if you love your job, it doesn’t seem like work. I hustle for a corporate gig and it’s like walking through sludge – but when I’m interacting with wine lovers, writing, and interviewing wineries – I’m full of energy. My wife is super supportive – which is a huge plus!
Josh @nectarwine
everyone defines their own balance and its surprisingly not relative. Whats balanced for Gary, might not be balanced for me, and vice versa.
I’m with everyone who talks about hard work & agree, you can’t be successful without it. It also doesn’t guarantee you will be successful. There are plenty of folks who work hard and then due to a bad stroke of luck, crash and burn.
You also have to be persistent and patient, something Gary also talks about. This is especially difficult in an age where almost everything comes in an instant gratification flavor.
Your family support is another factor. Gary makes enough income to support his family, something I’m sure he had before all his newly earned success that has put him in the national spotlight. He has one child and a wife who takes care of that child. He doesn’t have two or three kids, who require much more attention and time. Well, I guess you could skip out on those things, but what will the relationship be like. Gary is smart in that he is putting himself out there as much as he is now, while he can. During his talk in Atlanta (or maybe it was somewhere else), he commented that he doubted he’d make as big a push as he is right now. He probably won’t need to and people will have to get used to that. Remember, he still has 9 more books to go.
I’ve been out of work for 10 months and fortunately, my wife makes a good enough income to keep us going, plus we’ve had family support. That has allowed me to blog and put a lot more time into it over the last 4 months than otherwise would be possible. I’m fortunate, even if I don’t realize it often enough. I don’t ever see this as being a source of income, but hope to leverage it into what Hardy, Gary, Kevin Gillespie, Rick Bakas and others have…a calling that isn’t really a job, even if the days are 12-18 hours long six or seven days a week. I’m looking to do something other than what I did for 22 years before I got laid off and if I don’t succeed now, I know I will someday, even if that day is 10 years away.
I will conclude this rather long diatribe with the recommendation that everyone who likes and reads Gary V should look at some of Tom Peters books. He has been writing about personal branding for over a decade…well ahead of the Gary V curve…you will learn some great lessons.
Family support is key. My wife and I work on much of the blog together. We both taste wine, interact with the winemakers, and she is an integral part of our video podcasts.
As Ben mentioned above and what Gary talks about quite alot is DNA. You have to be true to yourself and work within yourself. No doubt hard work is necessary, but Gary’s hard work may not need to be YOUR hard work to be successful for YOU.
I have a corp gig like Josh that has to continue to pay the bills, taking a UC-Davis winemakers course, blogging, staying connected as best I can on my SM outlets and still go mountain miking with the wife and even vacation next week to Sonoma.
Tim Horton of P90X (oh yeah, I am doing that everyday too) says “Do your best and forget the rest”… “just keep pressing play”
Thanks so much for highlighting my post. I am so thrilled to see this conversation going on in little pockets across the internet. And what a great conversation going on here! The reality is that there is no one right way to life balance. It would be easy if there was some sort of formula that said: work this many hours, spend this much time with your wife, etc. But it’s gonna me different for everybody, and I don’t think anybody gets it right all the time.
The main reason I wrote the post (and do what I do for a living) is to get people to have an honest conversation with themselves and the people they care about about what they REALLY want out of life. I’ve seen too many people who say “I wish I woulda… spent more time with my kids… appreciated my health when I had it… given my wife the attention she deserved… taken the time to enjoy the little moments along the way… and on and on.” My goal is to help people have as few “I wish I wouldas” as possible.
I have never run across anyone who ever said, “I just wish I would have spent more time at the office.” Ever. And yet most of us live our lives as work — even work we’re passionate about — is the most important thing.
Balance is a hard thing. But it’s better to endure the struggle and be intentional about trying to achieve it than to wake up one day with a regretful pit in your stomach when you realize you’ve missed the boat.
Thanks again for the thoughtful discussion. Cheers!
Thanks so much for highlighting my post. I am so thrilled to see this conversation going on in little pockets across the internet. And what a great conversation going on here! The reality is that there is no one right way to life balance. It would be easy if there was some sort of formula that said: work this many hours, spend this much time with your wife, etc. But it’s gonna me different for everybody, and I don’t think anybody gets it right all the time.
The main reason I wrote the post (and do what I do for a living) is to get people to have an honest conversation with themselves and the people they care about about what they REALLY want out of life. I’ve seen too many people who say “I wish I woulda… spent more time with my kids… appreciated my health when I had it… given my wife the attention she deserved… taken the time to enjoy the little moments along the way… and on and on.” My goal is to help people have as few “I wish I wouldas” as possible.
I have never run across anyone who ever said, “I just wish I would have spent more time at the office.” Ever. And yet most of us live our lives as work — even work we’re passionate about — is the most important thing.
Balance is a hard thing. But it’s better to endure the struggle and be intentional about trying to achieve it than to wake up one day with a regretful pit in your stomach when you realize you’ve missed the boat.
Thanks again for the thoughtful discussion. Cheers!
Thanks so much for highlighting my post. I am so thrilled to see this conversation going on in little pockets across the internet. And what a great conversation going on here! The reality is that there is no one right way to life balance. It would be easy if there was some sort of formula that said: work this many hours, spend this much time with your wife, etc. But it’s gonna me different for everybody, and I don’t think anybody gets it right all the time.
The main reason I wrote the post (and do what I do for a living) is to get people to have an honest conversation with themselves and the people they care about about what they REALLY want out of life. I’ve seen too many people who say “I wish I woulda… spent more time with my kids… appreciated my health when I had it… given my wife the attention she deserved… taken the time to enjoy the little moments along the way… and on and on.” My goal is to help people have as few “I wish I wouldas” as possible.
I have never run across anyone who ever said, “I just wish I would have spent more time at the office.” Ever. And yet most of us live our lives as work — even work we’re passionate about — is the most important thing.
Balance is a hard thing. But it’s better to endure the struggle and be intentional about trying to achieve it than to wake up one day with a regretful pit in your stomach when you realize you’ve missed the boat.
Thanks again for the thoughtful discussion. Cheers!
Thanks for the comments Kevin, Shannon, and Ed. So many great points, and I think it’s cool to hear a little about your personal stories. Thanks for sharing them with me.
Jason, I appreciate you commenting here. I really found the post thought provoking, and I’m glad that it has stirred up some conversation here. I think you are dead on. I think that everyone has to examine their own life and find the right balance for them. The important thing is that we ask the questions and think things through. I know I don’t want to find myself approaching the end of my life and regretting the way that I spent my time now. Thanks again for the thoughtful post.
Gary has really high energy and I don’t think he could live his life any other way. Balance is naturally important but I totally dig that he preaches work for what you want!
Great blog, btw.
Thanks for the comment Robyn. I agree that Gary is being Gary, and couldn’t be any other way. I really should have phrased a couple of things a little differently, as I didn’t intend to question whether Gary is doing too much, just to say that we should all question whether we can do what Gary does and still live a balanced life. I don’t think I could.
Thanks again for the kind words!